What are your tips for juggling it all?
This made me think about Alpha Moms and Slackers Moms. Alpha moms try to be everything and do everything, all in the name of excellence. However, if there’s too many things-to-do on the list, too many balls to juggle with, burn out is likely to happen.
Don't try! Delegate, defer, dump - but don't try to do it all and be all things to all people! It's not sustainable, and the one who suffers most is you.
-Karen Wright, Womenworking.com Network Member
I’m a borderline Alpha and Slacker mom. I let my kids be kids and at the same time, try to do all things by myself. The parenting style depends on the situation, really. Like in the case of my sons, part of me believes and knows that they are capable of being independent. Being away on business trips from time to time has taught them to be responsible in their own little ways. I don’t need to remind them that they should look after one another whilst I’m away. They know it already.
I also want to get things done as soon as possible. I have a tendency to intimidate my kids because of my authoritative style. There were a couple of incidents where my son would not tell me the real score about a wrongdoing they committed, be it in school or at home, lest they would be reprimanded and because they don’t want to disappoint me. I set high standards in terms of appropriate behavior but as I mentioned earlier, I let my kids be kids. So, you can say that I’m a bit lenient on some areas.
Going back to the issue of juggling, I subscribe to the idea of outsourcing mommy tasks. i.e. tutoring, subject-matter skills development, to name a few. Extended families play an important part of the delegating equation. Good for those who have access to willing parents or relatives who agree to babysit the kids so that we, moms, can focus on other matters that also need our attention.
I try to do more as a parent. If I can exceed my own expectations, the better. Our physical limitations prevent us from doing everything which in actuality is not possible unless you’re a full-fledged superwoman.
Friday, December 19, 2008
In between an Alpha and a Slacker mom
Labels: Alpha moms, Slacker moms
Posted by Mari at 12/19/2008
4 comments:
One can switch between being an Alpha or a Slacker depending on the situation. There are situations that call for reinforcement of certain positive values and attitudes. It is in those situations where we need to put the "Alpha" hat on. There are also situations where we can take a step back and somehow let things take their own course for the moment.
But as with everything else in this world, being too much of an Alpha or a Slacker could have disastrous consequences for us. We all need to aim for a balance of both even if we may not succeed at times.
balance is indeed the key. :)
Good points Mari. Number one for me is being excellent at one task. Being absolutely perfect. Sometimes when people juggle three jobs, they're not very good at any of them.
When I meet people who are amazing in two different careers, they have my real respect.
Paul
Paul,
That's the downside of multi-tasking, not being excellent in all tasks. When the situation calls for a 2nd or even a 3rd job, there's really not much of a choice left to the parent but to juggle everything and not drop the ball!
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