Who takes care of the kids when I'm away

Without my mom’s help, I don’t think I’ll be able to live my life as it is right now.

In the past, I travel out of the country at least twice a year for workshops and conferences. My kids are of school age and I cannot leave them just like that without adult supervision. Whenever I had trips or late night socials at the office, my mom babysat my kids. In fact, she’s been doing that for years now. Even at the time when I went back to school after my second child, she was there to help me out. Back then, finding the perfect nanny, as if there’s one, was like wishing for the moon.

The kids are a lot older now. Still, I seek her help from time to time. We have different views in raising kids but we don’t clash when it comes to disciplining the boys. We compromise. And the kids have gotten used to the fact that grandma’s style is different from mine and vice versa. When I’m away and she’s in charge, I give her full rein. She’s stricter than I am and imposes more rules than I do. But that’s fine with me. As long as we communicate that this and that does not apply to the kids, we are okay.

Things weren’t as smooth as before. My mom believes in a lot of superstitious beliefs, old wives tales and unsupported claims told on TV. She was led to believe that what she believed or was made to believe when she was young were all true. This was the source of a string of misunderstandings in the past because she passed these on to her grandkids. It was like a lost battle telling her that what she believed has no basis at all. But we were able to work out our differences. She still holds on to her beliefs alright. What I do is to explain to the kids which among grandma’s beliefs are true from those which are totally insane.

There was a time I corrected my mom. I told her that some of her so called beliefs don’t apply in the real world. One time I did that, I was asked to leave the house! But anyway, we’ve patched things up and as I’ve said, we have a better relationship now.

My mom has her own unique quirks but she’s still my mom, regardless.