Generation B: Generation Boomerang

It looks like my folks would never ever have an empty nest. My brothers and myself included, are boomerang kids.

Boomerang kids or boomeranging is going back to your parents home and living with them again. Reasons vary and the length of period a child spends to cohabitate with their parents varies as well. In some cases, children don't leave the nest at all.

But why do children, mostly Gen X and Gen Y's, go back?

There are many reasons and each situation is different. Some are purely economic e.g. loss of a job, bankruptcy, inability to support oneself due to debts or student loans, it's more cost effective to live with the parents and more. I could probably add emotional such as the need for constant moral support. But I'm on the fence about the latter because one can have the moral and emotional support he or she needs without having to move in with the parents.

Boomeranging is a sticky situation to be in. One, you have lost your privacy and two, you have to abide by the rules of your parents. Not really to abide per se, but more like compromising your principles versus theirs especially when it comes to child rearing.

Another issue is the money. The big issue, in fact. Moving back to the nest for economic reasons means you're strapped for cash. Inasmuch as you want to contribute, you are unable to do so because you don't have enough money to begin with. If you're worse off e.g. you lost your job or your credit card debts are up to your eyeballs, you may end up asking your parents to lend you some cash, too.

In the Philippine setting, I see a lot of kids living with their folks even if they're all grown up. And it's normal I suppose because extended families are tolerated by the society. Parents who willingly accept their boomeranging kids are not in any way, mollycoddling nor encouraging the kids to be dependent on them. I think parents only want to help out their kids as much as they can.

Having all the kids, plus the grandkids (if any) all in one roof may put a financial strain on the parents and not to mention the all-day chaotic environment in the household. That said, it is important for the children to share on the expenses while they're living with their parents. Plus, the parents are already in their retirement age. It will be unfair to burden them with additional money problems.

I don't want to be a boomerang kid forever. It was never my intention, anyway. And it's tough to be one. I say, set yourself a goal that after "x" year/s, you'll be moving out and living independently.

Giving up on your kids

My kids are enrolled under the Kumon Math program. They've been crunching numbers at the Kumon center for ten months now. I've been closely monitoring their grades and I'm happy that Kumon is helping them in their studies.

Math used to be a problem subject for them. Math, per se, couldn't be learned by simply memorizing the multiplication table and all the formulas in geometry. Practice is important. What I like about Kumon is that it aims not for a passing mark alone but perfection in various Math skills set.

Sometimes the kids would complain that the assignments are becoming repetitive and boring. Kids would procrastinate in doing their worksheets because of boredom and preference for play time. I've been juggling two time zones for close to three years now and situations like this don't help my hectic life. Good thing that the owner of the Kumon Center empathized with my schedule and offered assistance to get the boys going. It's difficult to lose their momentum at this time. They've already reached the global Math skill level for their age and not pushing them enough would cause delays in their progress.

Instead of the bi-weekly visits to the Kumon center the teacher suggested that the kids can come to the center on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday for a 30-minute work. This is on top of their regular Friday and Saturday schedule. The teacher didn't charge me additional fees for the additional classes. She wants to help me and of course, the kids with their studies.

I even thought of ending the Kumon program this month. The boys have been spending more and more time playing and I'm on the brink of losing my patience on their behavior. Thing is, if I give up on them just like that, who will push them to succeed? No one. They may hate me now but I know that in time, they'll thank me for pushing them harder.

My boys' hair affair

I got a call from the school's guidance counselor. I thought one of them is sick or worst, got into a brawl with other kids. Good thing it's neither of the two. The reason why the guidance counselor called was to remind me of my boys' hair. Its length is beyond the prescribed hair length for boys. They badly need a haircut. Their names were already forwarded to the guidance office for monitoring.

In school, especially grade school and high school, the academe imposes strict compliance in terms of grooming. They boys' haircut is long overdue. I've been telling them that they'll get penalized in school because of the length of their hair. They were supposed to get a haircut before classes resumed but both of them continued to ignore me.

My eldest is sporting a bangs and my youngest son looks like The Beatles. Later, they'll definitely hear my never-ending speech again.

High school blues

I am thinking of transferring my son to another school. He'll be in high school next school year and I think the change of environment would be good for him. Aside from the extended hours in school implemented this school year which really tired out the kids at the end of the day, I want him to have a different set of friends. The ones he has now are the unruly kind, hence, he's like them. It's not that I'm putting the blame solely on his friends or classmates but at his age of 11 turning 12, peer pressure and being cool is the "in" thing.

And so my quest for schools start.

I thought of Manila Science but he couldn't make the cut (I know my son's capabilities and I have to be honest with myself about that). He has to start working on his grades as early as Grade 5. According to my kids' Kumon administrator, in Manila Science, no grade should be below 85. That criteria applies to Grade 5 and Grade 6 report cards.

I am also thinking of PCU and ADU. Both schools are quite near from our place. My only problem is the location. My son has to commute. He must learn to be on his own soon but I'm still apprehensive of letting him go on his own next year.

There's also Malayan Science which is nearer to our place. I inquired earlier and they are now entertaining students for next school year. I downloaded the forms and familiarized myself with the road map. Testing fee is Php500 and the student must submit either the Grade 5 report card or Grade 6 report card with grades of 1st grading, at least. No grades should be below 80. I was almost sold to the idea when I thought of the tuition fees, the next, most important thing of all. This school year's annual tuition fee, according to the lady I spoke with, is Php70,000! I almost fell off the bed. I find it so expensive. It's way, way beyond my budget.

Now, my choices are: let him stay with the current school or move him to either PCU or ADU.

I still have to do more research on this. But so far, Science schools are out, for L, that is. I'll try next year with N.

Black gloves, sandwich and an unnamed girl

Earlier, I accompanied my youngest son to look for a pair of black gloves in the nearby market. They'll be having a field demonstration tomorrow and the kids were asked to don a black costume. I was preparing myself for bed when he asked me about the black gloves. I have completely forgotten about the gloves. I even went to the mall after work but the black gloves escaped me. I felt so guilty because I promised to get him one.

I scoured the closet and looked for a black piece of cloth. Luckily, I found one. Then I went to the laundry room and got some old rubber gloves. The rubber gloves will serve as my pattern. I have decided that I'm going to sew a pair of gloves from scratch. I know it might take me forever to finish it but I've got no choice. I was too tired and sleepy to go out.

My son saw what I was planning to do. He looked worried. He suggested that I look for the white gloves he used last year and soak them in black food coloring to spare us from making that trip to the market (read: and to prevent me from creating the most horrible black gloves). That said, I felt guiltier. I got up on my feet, dressed up and told my son that we're going to the market. And off we went.

After checking out 4 stores, we found a Chinese store selling black gloves! My kid tried it on and it was a perfect fit. By then, it was almost 4 in the afternoon and way past my bed time. Hurriedly, we headed towards the terminal for our ride back home. Halfway through the terminal, hunger pangs struck me. I saw a sandwich stall nearby and asked my kid if he wanted to grab something to eat, too. He nodded and said that he wanted a ham and egg sandwich. And so I ordered two.

While waiting, a little girl, obviously panhandling, was asking a peso from me. At first I ignored her. It's not my habit to give alms but she was insistent and perhaps hungry. Instead of giving her money, I ordered another sandwich. My son scowled then asked me why I was ordering another one. I didn't answer. A few more minutes of waiting then we finally got our orders. I took one sandwich from the plastic bag then handed it over to the little girl. She beamed then thanked me. My son looked at me then to her, as she walked away from us. I told him that other people are not as lucky as him - he can eat at his whim and not worry about when the next meal would be. He hugged me tight after. "Let's go home."